Through Story of A Service Stewardess
Would You Rather Be Loved Or Liked If You Have To Make 1 Choice?
Re-assessing priorities and doing anything for love sake or being liked
Disclaimer: Names* changed to protect the identity of my love ones. Any resemblance is by pure coincidence.
Caution: Please do not read this if you are in melancholy mood or feeling lonely. Because when I am writing this, I feel like shit.
“Which is worse? To be loved by everyone, but liked by none, or to be liked by everyone, but loved by none?” — Carlos*
Carlos is young enough to be regarded as one of my sons from the fine dining restaurant. Learning to have some social skills with the youngsters these days is a must. Otherwise, life becomes plain boring.
And speaking of boring, Carlos’ question have me dumbfounded, thinking. His question is not just about choosing between the 2-scenarios which will be the most ideal.
But it triggered me that life not being an island of our own…
Either you rather be liked, without someone to love you, or you be loved, yet nobody likes you. Simultaneously, as I think about this over several days and activities, I read a message on my cell phone.
“Can you do Sundays?” — GM
Immediately, I have a lot to assess over my priorities and doing something for love sake. I appreciate my managers. Do I like them? Do I love them? Or both?
The challenge sets in when I need to decide either base on love and sacrifices, for my personal well-being, or perhaps…being liked? Urgh. No way.
Health matters more for women between 35 to 45 years old as this is the age range where any illnesses can greet unexpectedly. Therefore, should I slow down?
It is where Carlos’ question rings the bell loudest.
I asked myself if I ever can imagine life alone, like my late aunt. While we are still independent and able to move around, maybe not having anyone is alright.
However, do I want to grow old without someone as a companion?
Perhaps not necessarily as a husband, but as a companion. It seems sad to be alone.
I think it is nothing strange this thought came across my mind. I am sure my mentor here did ever think about a life companion.
Now, to Carlos’ question. Will you choose to be liked without love, or love without being liked?
Okay. I know, you may be trying to vision or differentiate between the 2.
Let me put it this way.
When you rather being loved than liked, it means everyone does anything for you because they love you. But, they do not like you.
They do it for the sake of mercy or compassion. Because they are soft-hearted or magnanimous or generous. They are just being lovely or fatherly, brotherly, sisterly, motherly…Do you get it?
It is like being in a family where a mom will always have something not nice to say about one of the children being the odd character than others. But, no matter what, a mom loves all of them.
I am not saying biased or favoritism. Just a little bit of complain about a child in the family happen. Isn’t it?
When you rather being liked, but it is alright not to be loved at all, it will be as good as having people not helping you when in time of needs. They prioritize themselves and dare to sacrifice you.
It is like a friend who loves you will not speak ill of you behind your back, and will stand up for you even if the whole world is against you. This is love. But, if a friend doesn’t love you, but liked you, that friend will never hesitate to backstab you anytime.
I hope I understand the questions Carlos asked me…
- Would it not sucks when people do anything for you out of pity — love — and they don’t like you? I don’t know.
- Would it not feel lonely when you are being liked by people — but they don’t love you? This, I do know.
Or does these questions depend on our age too?
When you are younger, you rather be liked by many people so that you can out-perform everyone and get your promotions easy. There are plenty of people to choose for love.
When you grow older, and it is as good as everyone seems taken up, you rather be loved than having many people liking you. Because then you really feel life is short. You will not want to grow old alone.
Nobody is an island of his own, right?
It feels like crap and shit writing this thought-provoking or an unsound-minded journal. Bonne nuit!