Story Through Life of A Stewardess

I Do It Because I Love

why it is easy to do something for someone but not for another person…

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

[Disclaimer]: Names* changed to protect the identity of my loved ones.

It has not been easy recently. I have a colleague who asked me if I am paid higher for doing more than what I have to do.

I also have colleague who entrust roles I can handle myself. When I see how glasses come in like waterfall and basket full of utensils, I sigh.

I understand when some younger brothers and sisters shared their sentiments feeling overwhelmed or discouraged when they are at my workstation.

I have only 2-hands to manage. So, I start to wonder if anyone will come in to help me. I am fortunate that my restaurant manager loves me like his own flesh and blood.

He will send in someone to help. Otherwise, by the time he sends someone, all the tasks are sure cleared within my hands. Definitely, by God’s Grace.

It is only recently, I feel suffocated. I know if I have to manage alone at my glasses station, I need to polish the utensils by smaller batches, not by a basket brimming with them.

Perhaps, it is the dishwasher’s way of comfort. We cannot expect or force others to change or accommodate to us all the time.

And the questions start to ring in my heart.

• Why do I have to help ease other’s job when I am in need of help, I do not know who will come to help or who to request it from?
• What makes me commit to the French restaurant when I work with flexible time, I can always hitch another restaurant or cafes to help their operations?

There are many lessons I see from the unpleasant moments recently. Of course, I like to collect the beautiful memories.

Sometimes, all of us find it hard to help someone, but easy to help another person instead. Vice versa. Am I right?

• It is like, you find it easy to believe that your colleague or friends can do well in life, but you smirk at your siblings who is lesser educated than you.
• It is like, you can offer help to strangers easily but not to the people you already know personally.

This is what I have as an answer why we all act this way.

It is because of Love. Either it is present or absent in our hearts.

I always look forward to work as much as I can with the fine dining restaurant, unless I have to send my dad to the hospital appointments. Or attend to the Will Execution matters for my late aunt which still remains stagnant. I am getting discouraged with it, too.

As much as I want to earn my hours away, I always remind myself to take the time off. It is for my dad.

I did not realize that a lot of people grumble, and look worn out at work. They may rather have my time flexibility. Perhaps someone or two may envy me coming like “an office hour” worker.

We always wish for what someone else may have, but we do not know what someone else is actually going through. Perhaps we know, but we do not know what it feels like to go through it.

But how did I manage to work with much joy months before? It is because of LOVE.

I know my restaurant manager loves me as his own. He really does. While others may think that it is just the French men’s culture — open to socialize — I know that he will not embrace anyone who he does not have love for.

From him, I learned a lot too. From him, I learn there is a time to be kind, and there is a time to be firm.

I realize that I came to work because I know there are people who authentically love one another. Because God calls us to love one another as He loves us all. Not because we are brown, white, black, blue like Smurfs, yellow like the Minions, or maroon.

I came with much strength and joy to work because I know I have another family which God sent to me. A covenant by which when I come with joy within me, I come to show my appreciation to God.

Because like the saying goes…

When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there? -Thich Nhat Hanh

And the same for my dad.

After the last medical appointment, I see my dad is different. He is in deep thoughts, and when he looks through the windowsills staring outside, I feel sad. It feels like he is living in a prison for his last days on Earth. I feel he wants to go out and have a breather, but he cannot go alone.

I always want to bring him out. Anywhere, even if our destination is nowhere…Aimless.

I truly feel ourselves wondering and wandering towards our destiny that we do not know — except Muslims says — graveyard. Why do we want to be so dark and gloomy although all of us will bid goodbye and return to the soil one day?

I see my dad’s mind seem to be everywhere. Perhaps he wonders why God gives him cancer of all diseases. He has been very quiet and less words. I can feel him.

I can feel my dad because he is part of me. I am part of him. I praise the Lord although it seems like from Thurs till the coming Weds, I will not be able to work, a week off without earning a cent, is going to be a blessed time. For my dad.

For love's sake…

What is Love if you are living in the country as your la familia, but you can’t be there for them? And you know deep within you can actually make time for it, but you don’t?

I miss my restaurant manager. I miss some of them there whom I see as mi familia.

If God’s Grace is sufficient, His Joy will be my strength that whenever I can return to work, I know it is a form of appreciation I show my Lord…

Because He taught me what is Love through my restaurant manager and some other full-timers. Not to forget a younger sis like Gina* and brother like Carlos*, Harold* etc.

When you want to do anything, ask yourself the state of your heart. When Love doesn’t exist, you will not find it easy.

I know there is only so much I can do for anyone I love as my own, regardless of race, language, or beliefs. I trust my Lord’s eyes always on my loved ones there. — A covenant God sent to me as a strength through adversities. Amen.

Good night.

💌xoxo 💌

N.A