Mental Health & Self Improvement
Beware Of Impulsive Decisions It Can Be Self-Sabotaging Act
writing makes you learn about yourself when you go into self-help topics or psychology and mental health niches…
Disclaimer: Names changed to protect the identity of the people. Any similarities are by pure coincidence.
I read a tagline from a friend named Evdokia*. Her tagline on her Instagram says:
How do you reach your goals and destinations if you keep walking back to the starting point all the time?
Does this knock your heart?
It feels like you walk in a circle and reach the same starting point in a state of confusion. It is like you are walking in a maze and not getting out. So, what is happening? Have you not tried whatever you can?
There is no way you can say it is deja vu. It is paranoia to think of magic spells that make a person keep walking in a circle for continuous years. It is the least and last thing on your mind to believe it is a curse, karma, or retribution.
Many people from the past generations love to preach about retributions and sins unforgiven craps. And, I see that as a form of gaslighting or a strategy my mom loves to use — to make you feel guilty.
So, why does it seem like you go back to square one often no matter what you tried?
You may not have noticed that something you do sabotages yourself. Unnoticed. And all the more people who loves your doomsday rejoice in thanksgiving! That includes your toxic or narcissistic fam if you lived in one.
Perhaps opportunities come at the right time, and you close the door to them. Do you want to know why you do that often? It is because you are feeling upset, moody, depressed, or traumatized. I do not know how this works for those who found therapy sessions unaffordable. I can’t afford to pay for it, too.
So, temporarily I find ways to keep my head above the water if I do not thread to stay afloat well on bad days. I saved the SOS Hotline number on my phone as I may need it anytime. Can you do these too? Sure you can.
Anyway, let us get back to the self-sabotaging topic.
- Traceback opportunities that are given to you and unnoticed that you turned them down frequently.
- List down the reasons for your reactions or impulsive decisions that you choose to close the doors. Are you aware of your feelings at that moment? Perhaps, it has got to do with life’s trauma.
- If an identity you hold no longer serves you well, can you change it to navigate your life back on track?
If you ever come across the time when you tried so hard, yet you keep coming back to the beginning, maybe you can do these 3-bullet points first.
Put aside the thoughts of being a victim of magic spells. Do not let it gaslight your mentality. We grow unhealthy mentally because people successfully meddle with our thoughts and emotions.
Shamans target those who are weak in the mind.
It may all start by being unsure what you want to do in life. Nature walking around the park may inspire you. Going back home to places you don’t belong, the ounce of inspiration slowly dissipates into thin air. You start turning down what you seek and become unsure again.
Do tell me if you feel this way or struggling to affirm yourself.
I do not want to be fickle-minded. I want to be firm and be sure of myself. I won’t be sure until I stop sabotaging myself. It may not be something I want to do in the long run, but I need to start somewhere and keep moving on. One day, I hope to join the dots from the past because then, I know where it leads me in front. Life is short. So, it is worth the try. I do not want to miss the opportunities that come greeting by.
If you know someone who feels this way or perhaps will resonate with it, pass it on.
That roller coaster ride will exhaust you someday. You will not want to fall flat as clinically depressed. If you are walking in a roundabout, stop. Take a step back. Assess yourself by the 3-bullet points I stated above.
I write this article for myself first and foremost. I stopped on 26th April. I wrote and saved this in drafts. Now, I roll this out for us. And, to whoever this will benefit. I am unsure when I will write again. Take care.
Salam. Shalom. Peace.
Copyright © 2022, Nour Ablaa a.k.a Umm Soffah Nourellyssa