Through Life of A Stewardess
4 Mindful Tips To Help Yourself When Starting A New Job In A Restaurant
Disclaimer: Names* changed to protect the identity of people. Any resemblances are by pure coincidence.
“…Hey Lissa…Are you angry with me? Why didn’t you talk to me today? I am scared you know. Don’t worry. I am not here to snatch the job away from you…” — new stewardess.
Douche?!
I believe that as we grow older, a lot of us prefer to be quieter. We have chatty days, and more quiet moments.
Because we are tired. We want peace. We rather save our energy on what matters more.
Here in the fine dining restaurant, I am observing an insecurity the new woman has. Her strong inner voice doesn’t tell her to think good at a start of a job.
So, I think this 5 main points today will help a bit for my readers should you choose to work in a restaurant. Here we go…
1# Do not expect people to be very friendly and welcoming towards you on your first day at work.
The masks from everyone’s face are taken off when people start to be comfortable with one another. This usually takes place on the 4th month.
They do not know you. You do not know them too.
Not all organizations will have warm welcome and orientation for the newbies. Some do. Some don’t. If they are friendly, warm, and do not take advantage of you being a newbie, that is already an immediate bonus.
Besides that, everyone wears a mask of an angel. You do not know who is good to work with and who isn’t. If you think that it is worth to challenge your patience, then give yourself at least 3 months in the job before you call it either a quit or sign on.
Remember that the masks from everyone’s face are taken off when people start to be comfortable with one another. This usually takes place on the 4th month.
Because after an On-Job-Training phase, people are not so desperate to be boot-lickers or people-pleaser. You will be able to see who does a job by their heart and who do so manipulatively.
2 # Be aware of Tom Dick and Harry who boss you around because you are a brand-new kid on the block
Everyone does not like to do dirty job of picking up and clearing the mess regardless being a local or foreigner.
There is no guarantee that you will be able to detect the Tom, Dick, and Harry early. Because you do not know the ranks of the people on your first day.
This reminds me of my 1st day in the French fine dining restaurant. I do not know the Restaurant Manager, or Assistant Managers, or Supervisors.
The 1st week already shows me who they see me as. My partner who has the same role as me isn’t being bossed around and that makes me feel treated unfairly.
If a local doesn’t favor being a cleaner which she or he did not know behind the term steward, even a foreigner will not like doing such role. Everyone does not like to do dirty job of picking up and clearing the mess regardless being a local or foreigner.
So, you will need to remember the agreement in your letter of appointment. What is your core duty?
You do not want to be doing other people’s job unknowingly, when you have nobody to help you cover your duties.
3 # Your focus is to work even if you are left alone in the job and nobody speaks to you
Every chance that the people ostracized you to the job is every golden chances you have to take it as your own personal training. And when you do it well, people start to look at you in different ways.
Count yourself lucky if you have been briefed about what to do and how to do certain things. Then, start getting your hands dirty and bear in mind that you may be left alone to manage.
At the French restaurant, I am left alone to manage the workstation most of the time in the first few months.
The other two part time stewardesses love to take their own sweet time in the Private Dining Room to wrap the bon bon. One of them feel that it is the best way for me to learn to control the workstation by myself.
Because she felt bullied on her 1st week of work. But she did not want to tell anyone to save herself from how others would think of her.
I feel ostracized by both of them. But my mind told me to focus. I used that chance to improve my polishing and learned to manage hassling between glasses and utensils — Without the other 2 stewardesses.
And who paid attention to me? A French manager.
So, remember that every chance that people ostracized you to the job is every golden chances you have to take it as your own personal training. And when you do it well, people start to look at you in different ways.
Some people will start to be friendly and nice. Others may judge you as trying hard to prove something. They can’t accept your versatility and capability.
You become kind of a threat or an inspiration to the others.
4 # Speak in a common language of the service — English Language
For a few moments of silence, everyone forgets the many days I am a clown.
“Lissa, you do not know how lonely it is to be the only Indian among the majority of xxx race…” — Veronica*
Imagine a room filled with people from certain tribe and you are the only one who is different. Naturally you wonder if people these days do not bother about mannerism.
Just like what Veronica* once mentioned to me, I feel alienated on some days. While on the other days, I direct my focus on the tasks I am supposed to do by the hours.
Often, I sit in the Private Dining Room to fold the napkins and majority came speaking in Mandarin. Despite being surrounded by people, I am living major part of the minutes by myself — not into their group of Mandarin conversation.
And the question goes around at work… “Why is Lissa always angry/unhappy? Why doesn’t Lissa talk?”
For a few moments of silence, everyone forgets the many days I am a clown. Only a few people know me well by the 1 year I have been serving as a stewardess.
If I count myself lucky surviving a year as a part-time stewardess, it is my French manager who protects me. I end this article with my heartfelt moments…
You do not know how it feels like to be among the minority at work, unless you are among the minority. You do not know how it feels like always taken advantage or bullied because we are not quick enough to say No to many things.
But I do know of these. And I’m very well aware how easy it is for me to move on without keeping in touch. I forgive however I draw my boundaries strictly.
🪻Norlissa🪻
